Feats of Strength

Well it's been an unusual week here in Lake Wobegon, as I seem to be in a kind of Zen mode of heroic superhuman sports powers;

Point 1) On Tuesday my 8-ball and 9-ball opponents were completely defenseless against my full-on billiards slaughtering capabilities.

Point 2) Wednesday I swam (swamded?) 100 yards in 1min 25secs and did not barf immediately afterwards.

Point 3) Last night at Tien's b-day party I bowled a 167 for the first time in my life- that's not the best part, my first three frames were strikes and the next two were spares, I was like the pool equivalent of Tiger Woods for about 10 minutes, even doling out advice to the lowly earthlings in the vicinity from aloft my tall, tall mountaintop of bowling knowledge.

Tonight just to test fate I am going to try bench-pressing Paris the cat for 1 repetition; HOME VIEWERS, DO NOT ATTEMPT!!! DO NOT ATTEMPT!!! THESE ARE TRAINED PROFESSIONALS ON A CLOSED TRACK!!! BENCH-PRESSING PARIS THE CAT MAY RESULT IN: STRAINED UPPER DELTOIDS; EXTREME MEOWING; CLAW MARKS TO AREAS OF EXPOSED SKIN!!! DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL!!!

Okay, maybe not.