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March 3, 2004

Back in Traction

I need to exercise!  I am looking at my calendar, 2/10 was my last visit to the gym, and I am turning into a mound of semi-glossy gelatinous flab with eyeballs.  Dahlia says, “Yes, but you’re my mound of semi-glossy gelatinous flab with eyeballs,” but that is just not good enough for me; I need to take action.

The problem is I almost never get to bed early enough to be able to wake up and squeeze gym time in before work.  Not so long ago I could say, “What the hey, I can go to bed at 9 and wake up at 5, no problem- what else am I doing with my life?”  Now I am starting to look like Jello.  Although it is busy Jello.

My old routine was strictly weightliftin’, but its time to think about a little aerobicizin’.  The problem is last time I tried running it felt like my shins were breaking off, so I am left with the stationary bike or those rather gay “eliptical” machines.  I mean gay in the “upbeat” sense of course- I just don’t like to look happy when I am exercising.

Also interesting; the tan line on my butt is gone, replaced with an all-white expanse.  I noticed this the other day in the mirror during my pre-shower self assessment.  “What is this world coming to?” I wondered, secretly blaming Dubya.


i still vote for the oh so not popular option of going to the gym at some other hour of the day, but that's just logic for ya....

i think you picked a good person to blame.